Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Script

After trying for the last couple of days to get my job back at "The Office," I've decided to give up.  So I don't see any reason not to just go ahead and upload the script that I found at work last week, which is Steve Carell's last episode.  It looks like sometime between now and then, Holly is going to leave Michael again.  And Will Ferrell won't be taking over, after all. 
So click here to read the Michael Scott's last episode of "The Office."


The Office - "Goodbye, Michael"

JASON BRANDONMAN
craftservicesblog@gmail.com

40 comments:

  1. i think this might be real

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  2. I have a strong feeling this is real. Just think of how ridiculous this show has gotten this season. And think of the lines in this script...Michael saying "Lets just say '5years'...you'll never last in a place like this with good behaviour.' And him leaning into kiss Erins hand because he is unfamiliar with the gesture. It seems very much like an Office script in many ways. The one thing that stretches beyond belief is that fact that Jim will only have one arm now...give me a break...how do they plan to do that every episode? Special effects? I really think this script is real though...I have a strong feeling it is real...oh man...this season has been utterly horrible so far

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  4. I also think this could be real. Either way its pretty funny.

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  5. Undeniably funny (and dark), but also very fake. I'd actually be kind of happy if this were the end, might top what they actually have, but I'm almost 100% sure it's not.

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  6. Let me start by saying that this is obviously fake. Allow me to SHOW YOU how this is not a real script. I do admit, the Cold Open was funny and could be used in an episode. I am not bashing the author, he is a semi-talented writer, I am just bashing the thought that this is a professionally written episode. Continue reading for proof...

    While the author does have a fair grasp on the ins and outs of The Office, there are some critical errors that stand out.

    The GRAMMAR and TYPING errors on pages 19, 21 and 29 would NEVER EVER EVER be in a draft of an episode script. Writers draw out the story in outlines on white boards, then a first draft is drawn up (usually by Greg Daniels). There are NEVER spelling or grammar errors in these drafts. For the final episode of Michael Scott to have them? Would never happen.

    Also, there are inconsistencies with the series as a whole. Jim got his arm cut off in the warehouse? It was exposed in "Take your Daughter to Work Day" that the paper isn't actually cut at Dunder Mifflin. This would make having a paper cutter in the warehouse unnecessary.

    Also, the final episode of Michael Scott would NEVER EVER EVER feature Michael in the "B" story of the episode. Obviously, Jim and Dwight's pranks occupy the majority of the airtime, which would never happen in Michael's finale. Obvious planning error. Michael will be ON SCREEN for almost every second of his final episode.

    ALSO, there are errors in character communication. Angela would NEVER EVER EVER say "where is it at". This is something a 15 year old high schooler would say, and would not be included in the script for Angela's character.

    The script is not the appropriate length for an hour long episode. Hour episodes are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS 42-44.5 pages. This is clearly too short for a full hour, and too long for 30 minutes.

    More character errors: Phyllis would NEVER EVER EVER refer to her husband as "Bob Vance". Do you refer to your spouse by their first and last name in casual conversation with mutual friends?

    There are no references to any episodes between 7.15 and this episode. ALL finales are "setup" by previous episodes, where advances in the story are made. There is no evidence of ANY advancement in any of the minor plot lines (Andy vs. Gabe, Angela and Senator, Senator being "gay", etc.) This would never happen in a finale.

    It is confirmed in several early season episodes that Dwight is older than Jim. They are not the same age.

    If Jim were going to "prank" Dwight, there would be no need to actually fake a murder scene. No one from the office lives with Jim and Pam, and no one watches the footage from the cameras. Not only would Jim not be stupid enough not to realize this, the cameras wouldn't be in Jim's house to capture the footage in the first place.

    Being that "no one" knew about the prank except for Jim and Pam, almost every one would have called off of work. More likely, corporate would have given everyone a few days off. No one would have shown up the VERY NEXT DAY (the MORNING AFTER)

    If the argument to the above error is "they didn't know that he was dead when they came in", Michael would not have been dressed in all black.

    Andy is a main character. He gets more than 2 lines in a season finale. This would NEVER EVER EVER happen.

    There is additional punctuation that the author uses that real screen writers do not.

    Working hours in China are opposite to the hours in the United States. Michael would not be able to talk to someone at work in China while he was working in the United States.

    Again, this isn't a bad spec script, it's just not a real script. Whoever the author is does have a pretty good grip on the office. If it were the real script, it would easily go down in history as the WORST EPISODE OF ANY SITCOM EVER PRODUCED. PERIOD.

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  7. The last guy did make one good point... The Office probably has a really good Writer's Assistant. And a good Writer's Assistant would never allow any typos to go through.

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  8. Terrific. We want more.

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  9. While I definitely agree that this is a fake episode, Agent Jack Scarn has things mixed up in his diagnosis. Michael's departure is not the season finale it will be happening 4 episodes before the finale. Also Will Farrell will be involved in Michael's leaving the show (he was never meant to replace him) and he was no where in this script so 100% fake and you are pretty stupid to believe otherwise. All in all good read but that's about it.

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  10. At the beginning, it said something about Michael dancing with Meredith... or something. I can't see those two characters interacting that way. Seems more like Packer thing to do (w/ Meredith)

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  11. I do like that the author did try to zone in on some Classic elements, such as Jim's pranking, Dwight's interrogating, ect. (Jim and Dwight's $100 bet reminds me of the snowball fight). It is possible to believe that Michael could leave around a storyline that reflects on the classics one last time, though I agree that he wouldn't be in story B.

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  12. You'll find from my rant that I'm an obsessed Office geek.
    Yet, I enjoyed this read. You somehow seemed to amaze me with some of the lines and how they fit the characters.

    Have to say it: obviously, a fake. While the Office has been over the top recently, this is too excessive. If you watched a S2 ep back to back with this one, you wouldn't believe this is the Office anymore. Writers wouldn't wish for that.

    Anyways, the thing that I dislike about this script the most and gives away that this couldn't be real is the author's understanding of the character relationships.
    A Michael and Erin relationship? Just no!..
    During S7E08 "Viewing Party," it was clear that Michael and Erin were developing more of a father/daughter relationship. If that ever shifted to romance, that would be just be unconformable for anyone who saw that ep.
    Also, I doubt that Michael and Holly would split up, unless it were because they found themselves moving too hastily. The writers have scripted Holly to be Michael's dream girl and even had to bring Amy Ryan back in this season to conclude that important story arc.

    Erin wouldn't just start disliking Gabe because Michael told her too. Erin was hoping she could get Michael and Gabe to get along.
    If anyone will steal Erin from Gabe, it's Andy. In fact, for a happy ending, Erin will have Andy or no one. It was enough of a slap in the face to see Andy and Erin separate this season. I think Gabe is just stirring the pot for them, like Karen served for Jim and Pam.

    Speaking of Karen, something tells me Karen and Jim won't ever interact again. Karen's story seemed to have its closure when Pam meet with her. This idea does sound interesting though, but I think its been done before(remember Danny?)

    I'd also have to ask why Karen would go to JIM for Sabre advice... like Holly, Karen should still be working for Sabre herself, in Utica and if she went to anyone for advice in Scranton (which doesn't make sense really) it would probably be Gabe.

    Also, Daryl and Andy are getting so close, wouldn't you think Daryl might go to Andy for sales advice? Unless Daryl understands how bad Andy is with sales, then perhaps Daryl going to Jim could cause some jealousy in Andy, opening up a side-story leading people to believe that Andy could be a suspect in Jim's murder. Could have put something like that in, or involve Andy more in general.

    Also, I don't believe Dwight and Angela would do anything sexual in the conference room with people in the office. I believe Angela would always want her privacy with her affairs with Dwight, she always has.
    Also, by this time, Angela should have at least been suspicious that the Senator is gay.

    Note this: Kevin sounds like an over emotional baby in this script. This is not necessarily fitting. Shocked about the AIDS but probably not crying about it.

    If you're seeking to fool people with this script, you could probably take it back to the drawing board. Keep these things in mind. Make references to a different story about what happened to Holly (because its true that Amy Ryan leaves before Carrel), insert Ferrel's character in there somewhere as a "home Regional Manager". Promote Michael's storyline above other's, for its HIS finale! Add a lot more of Andy, perhaps involving him with Erin and Gabe finally finding out or something. And whatever you do, don't let the final result involve Jim with one arm, or anyone clinching Michael's job position, for it was revealed in interviews that the position would be open, Jo would come to select someone right for it, and several people would be competing for that position within 4 eps.

    Other than that, the story was enjoyable =)

    "Fact: I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me." -Dwight. Yeah, he's older than Jim.

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  13. you're a dooooosh, Jason Brandonman. And a fake.

    Doesn't anyone find it strange that he's ripping on John Kransinski for supposedly getting him fired and then he posts a storyline where John has to act for someone whose wife grows angry with him, who dies and gets their arm cut off?

    Everything dark about this script seems to center around JIM HALPERT. Hmmmmm...

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  14. I can't believe any of you think this is remotely good. This script is so horribly written, I'm convinced the writer isn't over 14 years old. I could see this as some weird, messed-up, cartoon version of the office, but that's it. Not only that, the writer is obviously from the UK, since they are unfamiliar with some American vocabulary: In the US, we call the ceremony/meeting that occurred in the warehouse a "viewing", not "wake". And the more obvious one: We never ever ever say "CV"; it's "résumé" here. These are huge tells that whoever wrote this fake script hasn't even been to the US, or if they have, they didn't stay here long enough to learn these common phrases.

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  15. ***correction: some people use the term "wake", but no one in the US uses the term "CV"

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  16. Clearly fake, just by the deterioration of the writing quality at the end.

    If the Office was a broad comedy (which it's not), it would be obvious to any reader that Jim wasn't really dead. It would also be obvious to Dwight's character. It was tedious to read the pages and pages of Dwight's crime investigation when it would have been obvious to any character that Jim was not dead. Even an amateur writer would have come up with an explanation, i.e. a scene where Dwight treats Jim's death as a prank, and then it is revealed that he was really dead due to the drugs referred to, and whatever explanation.

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  17. I think there is a reasonable chance that this is real. Jason Brandonman seems to be a very real douche, his posts aren't very funny, and I don't think he could have written a script this funny.

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  18. I was a little worried to find out that Michael's finale episode(s) were actually revealed to have the same name as this script. ("Goodbye, Michael") I originally thought whoever wrote this script was making a play on S4 "Goodbye, Toby"

    But still, there's ZERO CHANCE THIS IS REAL. This script is NOT LEGIT at all.
    Why?
    Because, NBC and Twitter pages created by REAL The Office staff members have already revealed several things about "Goodbye Michael."
    First off, this script claims that Paul Lieberstein would direct this episode. Although, it has been revealed that Mindy Kaling and Paul Feig would direct Part 1 and Part 2 respectively, of "Goodbye, Michael."
    I'm also curious as to why the writers weren't given any credit in this script... hmmm.

    Also, Will Ferrel has been revealed to be a guest star in Steve Carrel's last episode. Where is his character in this script?

    Also, it has been revealed that Michael Scott's last episode would be 2 Parts. That means 2 cold opens, 2 closing scenes, ect. There is also no clear cut off for this episode, and I couldn't imagine this being Part 1 or Part 2.

    Dude, YOU FAIL. You were never an Office staff member.
    And let's not forget, people, its not too hard to be funny or to plagiarise things. Jason could have pulled it off or got help.

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  19. I didnt believe this, but it turns out that Goodbye Michael is the name of the final episode. I know this could be a coincidence but I don't know anymore. Could be an early version, maybe before Will Ferell decided to do it.

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  20. It's true. wikipedia is confirming that this could be real

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goodbye,_Michael

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  21. This is SOOO fake. The one thing that throws me off is the title--I always follow spoilers and any info about titles, stories etc as early as I find them available, and maybe I was less vigilant, but this DOES seem to be the earliest reference to the title "Goodbye, Michael," which is apparently correct. But there is ZERO chance that this is real, so it's possible whoever wrote it had at least THAT much insider information, I guess.

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  22. Wikipedia is confirming that this is real? Are you kidding me?! You do know that anyone can go edit pages there, right?

    If this script is in any way real, I hope to God there's been a change between this and filming the actual episode. If not then The Office isn't going to just jump the shark, they're going to catapult over the damn thing.

    Another thing, Dwight was already a boss for a day in one episode and it didn't work out at all. Plus the last 4 episodes are going to be searching for a boss so even if Dwight were to become the boss, it wouldn't be in the same episode as Michael losing his job.

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  23. to the last 2 posterz

    1- u r a idiot. obviously it's fake
    2- u r a idiot. this shiz is mad funny

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  24. To the poster above me...

    You are the idiot. I bet you wrote the damn script. You have typos in your comment just like the script has in it.

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  25. As if we needed further proof that this garbage is fake...Brian, who plays Kevin, tweeted a picture of Angela Kinsey holding a Dundie that was taken this week on the set of the show and they're taping "Goodbye, Michael" right as we speak. Nowhere are the Dundies mentioned in this "script", nor is Will Ferrel's character who is confirmed to be in the episode. Why do people think this is real when Jim, one of the staple characters, gets permanently disfigured??? Seriously. One-armed Jim? you've got to be kidding me. And to the nimrods who keep editing the wikipedia article saying this is real, go fuck yourself.

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  26. "no one in the US uses the term "CV"

    Not true. We say CV all the time in my company, and I'm in Boston. We also say "wake."

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  27. I live in PA and say CV. The person who wrote this has visited the US at least once.

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  28. This is not real, but I commend the author. He/she legitimately had me laughing. The cold open was excellent. Would be in my top 10 favorite cold opens ever if it were real and executed well.
    When Dwight revealed he had some of Jim's semen and threatened to dump it on Oscar and then subsequently offered to dump it on Darry: Genius. I'm actually disappointed that I'll never (unless I'm wrong and this is somehow real, which it isn't) get to see that scene play out. Comedic gold.
    Unfortunately, there is no way the following things would ever happen:
    1. Jim losing an arm. Too dark/hard (That's what she said) to stick with this plot line for the rest of the series.
    2. Pam supposedly drops Cece onto the floor because she's so distressed over the death of Jim. Pam wouldn't actually be distressed because Jim didn't really die.
    3. Michael not being the main character in his last episode. He must be. This entire season has been a celebration of Michael Scott.
    4. Michael and Erin will not end up together.

    To the author: Thanks for a good read. You know the show very well and you have talent. Very funny episode if you take out the flaws, specifically Jim losing his arm. I actually don't hate the scenario of Michael ending up in prison, as long as they leave him a ray of hope or happiness. Maybe someday you'll be writing the script of your own sitcom. Have a good day everyone, and let's keep the posts civil and respectful.

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  29. It's not real because Will Ferrell's not in it and it takes place on MLK Day. Why would they have an MLK Day episode in March?

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  30. In response to all the "Will Ferrell isn't in it so it can't be real" posts: Look at the date of this DRAFT and then find out when Will Ferrell agreed to appear. The draft was written before Will agreed to appear.
    This is obviously not a real script, but stop using faulty logic to prove that point.

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  31. Biggest reason I can tell this is fake, that transcends all arguments about how they would write it? Simple. This guy claims to have picked a copy of the script up off the table. Well, the posted script is in PDF form, with, you got it, selectable text. If he really just picked up a script and scanned it in, you wouldn't have selectable text- the whole thing would be one huge image.

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  32. Everything about this points to it being a hoax by someone involved with the show. The above post is spot on about the PDF properties, Michael is not featured enough, the second half is too ridiculous, but the first half is too good to be fan fiction and it was uploaded before the title was announced.

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  33. It's a hoax, the script is awful, and anyone who falls for it is a fucking idiot. Whoever came up with this needs to get a fucking life. The fact that Wikipedia has gotten caught up in this does not validate was is obviously a fake script.

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  34. I see this bullshit is still up. I expect of course a full apology from the people you fooled with this when the actual episode airs. Instead, I expect some excuse about how they changed it when you leaked the script. You are a real piece of fucking shit.

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  35. Instead of trying to fool everyone, you should have posted this as a spoof or an "alternative ending". it is clear that this wouldn't be the final episode. Are they going to have Jim walk around with only one arm for the rest of the series? And Michael was like a father to Erin.. it would be creepy for their relationship to go in that direction.
    Rather than trying to fool others, this would have been more enjoyable not having to question its authenticity.

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  36. we will find out april 28th if this is real or not. i personally believe its not real i think it is too rediculous but what i think doesnt matter we will find out in a month when it airs

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  37. FAKE

    nice try asshole

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  38. officially FAKE

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  39. Just saw the episode... Looks like they did a big rewrite before they shot it.

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